Last Thu (3 7 13) was THE COOLEST!

I had SUCH a wonderful treat last week!!! I got to go in to the office, and I had not been there since the day before my first surgery. My last day at work was Jan 23, so it had been 6 weeks since I’d seen my co-workers. It was such an amazing afternoon that it took me quite a while to get to sleep that night, I was on such a high from it. It meant SO much to me to be able to talk to, cry with, and hug so many people there that day!!! Since we did not know yet on my last day at work, before the first surgery, that we were dealing with cancer, I had not been able to “grieve the diagnosis” with my friends in person. It was very good to be able to do that. My sister Adrienne had been able to leave the office to run and get me, and then I rode home with Leah when she completed her shift. (And, after Leah and I cleaned my desk together…..it was stressing her out that my desk was such an “abomination”….LOL!!) I wanted people to see that I was doing well (still am!) and that I still had hair (still do!….although today, it did start coming out several strands at a time when I combed or ponytailed it, darn it…). I will always remember how great it was to see everyone that I did, that day. What a blessing. A huge, huge, blessing. I said many times that day, as I have on so many other occasions, that I simply cannot imagine going into a thing like this with a better, wider circle of support. I’m blessed beyond measure with all the love in my life.

Yesterday’s salad pic and part of today’s breakfast.

Blueberries….a superfood!!! The lemon is important for balancing the acidity that most of us have. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment, which happens when we eat too much protein, and too many manufactured and toxic foods. It seems backwards that lemons would put us more toward the alkaline side, but they do. And they’re just so darned GORGEOUS! 🙂

Foods and HEALING………. !!! :)

Folks who’ve been around me for the past couple of years already know that I am fascinated by the connections between foods and healing. In late 2009, I was diagnosed with RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and I was in BAD shape…..constant, sometimes debilitating pain, extreme fatigue, weakness, severely limited mobility, and at a top weight that I am still too insecure about to post here. I relied on a cane for almost 2 years, just to walk what was always the absolute minimum required for whatever I had to get done. It was a terrifying time for me because my body had changed so radically that it threatened every facet of my life.

I began reading, learning, and experimenting with removing certain “foods” from my daily diet. I put the quotes there because there are millions of products out there that are generally considered food by most people, but to me a great portion of them are not foods, they’re toxins. Real FOODS are the things that God/Mother Nature/planet Earth/whatever your spiritual bent indicates put here to nourish us. Things that were invented by people in labs, tinkered with scientifically, engineered to increase profit are not foods. Things that come with flashy logos, jingles, slogans, commercials are not foods. They are products, inventions, and in many cases, poisons.

Long story short, I began the Shrink and Feel Better group in Nov 2011 around my own experiences, because I was urged repeatedly that I could not keep the information to myself. I know now that this is true. There are over 100 members in the SAFB group, and they are all a huge part of the incredible support network I now have when facing the biggest health challenge of my life. I know now that it was all put into place THEN so that I could benefit NOW. And so that OTHERS can benefit too.

I’m going to be writing a lot about foods and healing here. For today, I want you to see my breakfast. 🙂 A cup of decaffeinated green tea (made with filtered water) with lemon, and a Caesar salad with walnuts instead of croutons. Actually, I had two dishes full of this salad. (Edit: I cannot find my gorgeous picture of it!! So I’m substituting a Google Images pic of romaine and walnuts.)   It could be better, because I did use a small amount of a bottled dressing and I know there are all kinds of junk in there that I probably do not want. However, it is WAY better than the millions of alternatives in terms of what we think of as breakfast food.  As I go along, just like I have in the past couple of years, I will refine and tweak my diet even more in order to HEAL FROM THIS STUFF. Watch me. I have no doubt that I can kick this, and no doubt that a good portion of it is up to me and what I put into my mouth. My “ministry” has really been kicked up a notch, I suppose?   🙂

Second chemo was today 3 5 13

It went well; it was shorter this time, only about 2 hours there, plus the drive times.  I won’t get every med each time, so some will be this length, some longer.   I had horrible pain again, though, this morning before leaving for the appointment.  I took a couple of hydrocodone and was very glad that it worked quickly and well!   I think sometimes there’s just not enough healed muscle/support in the lower belly to deal with how things need to move around and sometimes it hurts like H-E-double-hockey-sticks, all the way around to my back.  Ick.    Accessing the port was not as unpleasant today as last time, probably thanks also to the hydrocodone.   My sister Chris took me and stayed with me, so she got to see the comfy set up and we had a very nice conversation with the patient in the bay next to mine as she got her treatment.   That one has to have chemo and/or radiation daily and lives too far away from the hospital, so she actually stays there Monday through Friday and goes home to her husband on the weekends.  Yikes.  Fortunately, she only has to do that for 6 weeks total (2 down already) and then she’s done.  Mine’s only chemo, no radiation, and is weekly for about 6 – 7 months, and then will move to every 21 days for another 6 months or so.   Well, that’s the plan at the moment, anyway.

What’s the picture about?  They had a harpist there today donating her time to play for us!  This picture is from Google Images and is not the woman who played for us, but I chose it because the gal here looks kind of like me when I was young.  🙂   Never touched a harp, though….that I can remember.   🙂

Managed to get my taxes done last night!!  I’ve always dreaded the whole routine of gathering all the necessary junk to take to the accountant, but this year topped it…. I was doing it while feeling pretty yucky and tired, and then had a bunch of the stuff all laid out and I spilled a glass of water all over all of it!!!  SHEEEESH!   But, I carry on.   See how amazing I am?   *wink*   LOL!!!!!

Right now, I’m feeling very good, and very, very blessed.  And sleepy.  🙂   G’night!

HAIR, part two! :)

Leah and I went shopping Sat and she was choosing wigs for me to try on. This one was the winner, and the BEST DAUGHTER IN THE WORLD insisted on buying it for me!!! I’m sure it will take some getting used to, but I really do like it!! I also bought a soft little turquoise cap for when I do not want to wear the wig, because people tell me that it feels really weird to have the exposed skin there and all, so that even for sleeping a lot of women opt for a cotton cap to have on during the night.

I was surprised that I chose one after only 2 shopping trips — it’s not the way I usually make a “big” purchase, but I am glad it’s chosen and on my dresser. We will return to the wig shop when the hair starts falling so that they can buzz off most of my hair, fit the wig correctly, and tell me everything I’ll need to know about how to take care of it.

Here baby, there mama, everywhere daddy, daddy, HAIR! 2 28 13

I went for a first trip to look at wigs! It actually was fun, and this one is a possibility. But Leah and I will be shopping at another store on Saturday to look at more options. I will be wearing a wig for about a year I think, so I want it to be cute, easy and as natural-looking as possible (of course, “natural” is subjective….if they had one that is how my hair REALLY looks…like when I wake up in the morning or something, I’d say “GACK!! Not THAT one!” LOL!!! 🙂  )

A wonderful discovery! 2 26 13

Forgive me for being so unashamedly tickled with myself, but I feel like a genius!! To assist with the pulling, dragging etc of abdominal muscles and subsequent back pain, I put on a simple tanksuit that I bought a couple years ago but had not worn yet. (Yes, I did wash it first, because otherwise…ick….LOL!) It helps SO much with supporting my tummy and breasts without being constricted too much like a bra would do (I especially do not want to sleep with a regular bra on….gets annoying…) I am just too cute in it, though, I have to say! LOL!! Actually, I look EXACTLY like this photo from Google Images. (Did I mention that one of the side effects of the meds might be changes in my eyesight??? Tee hee….)

First chemo today! Feb 26 13

Hello, dear hearts! I can’t tell you how HAPPY I am to report that I am feeling great, and today was my first chemo treatment. Not what you expected, maybe, right?! Now, mind you, I AM on painkillers and had anti-nausea stuff through the IV before getting the chemo meds, y’know. Pretty groovy stuff there, fo’ sho’.

We were there (Leah and I) from 8:00 am to noon. The chemo nurses were so great, and the setup there is very comfortable. There is a TV and DVD thing, although I did not use them today. It’s a very comfy adjustable recliner, and they have snacks and even warmed blankets!! Leah and I gabbed a bit, and I read magazines and then I dozed for a while when Leah went down to the cafeteria to get herself some breakfast.

They have valet parking at the Center for Advanced Medicine at Barnes and that is WONDERFUL. We just pull up and hand a key over, and grab a wheelchair to go into the building and up to the 13th floor. It’s only $2 for the valet and the parking itself is free to chemo patients!

We really needed that wheelchair today. I was in some really awful pain during the night and this morning. It was the whole right, lower side of the abdomen, wrapping around to the back. I had trouble even talking because the pain was so severe! I also had considerable pain at the port site, so I had to walk to the bathroom (during the night) holding up one side of my belly with one arm, and holding up my right breast with the other because it was pulling on that port area. If I’d had another painful bit to embrace and support, I would’ve needed a third arm. LOL!!

However, Vicodin is my BFF, for sure, and it did the trick. I had been off of it for about a week, but the nurse today said it’s not a problem for me to take it when I need it. And, boy…..did I.

Right now, though, I feel really great! I can’t believe it, as I have to say I sort of expected the worst (which I know is NOT the way to be thinking, but I’m human….LOL!!) I know of course that this may change as drugs wear off, but I’m happy for this bit for sure. And maybe the feeling great will hold! We’ll just have to see. I was even hungry after chemo, so we stopped on the way home to have lunch at Boston Market! I’m wearing snug-enough panties and jeans that help support the belly, and it’s wonderful to be in actual clothes and not my nightgowns or scrub pants with a baggy tee and camisole.

Thanks so much for all the warm thoughts and prayers, guys!! I love you all!!
g

I’ve got a port now! Feb 25 13

I had the procedure this morning at Barnes to put the port in my chest.  It really was no big deal and I am not uncomfortable.  There are stitches that will dissolve, and some skin glue there.  There are actually 2 “wounds” on my chest….one is almost at the neck, where they went into a major blood vessel to work their way down to where they wanted to be for the port and the other is the port itself.  This is the doohickey that they’ll use to put the chemo drugs and all into me each time.  I assumed there’d be some stuff sticking out, like when you get an IV in your arm, but it’s not like that.   I have a bunch of orange-colored skin all over the place, though, so I look like I have a really cheap tan-from-a-bottle up there!  🙂   The whole thing only took an hour and a half, and thank goodness it was clear and sunny today for the drive to the hospital and back home!

Update on things, Feb 22 13

This is the update I sent to my folks at work today……………….(aka the lazy girl’s way of updating the blog)………..  LOL!  🙂

 

Good morning, Tim and Robert!  Please relay this update to the team for me.

 

I had my follow-up appt with the oncologist yesterday.  We were at Barnes from 9 to 230 and then it took us 3.5 hours to get home!!  But, get home we DID, thank heavens!  What a mess!!  I hope all of you were and are safe and warm today. 

 

All the staples were removed from my belly and the doc thinks all is healing well.  The plan for chemo was laid out, and that begins Tues (Feb 26) and will be weekly, at Barnes.  I also have an appt Monday morning at Barnes to have the port put into my chest; this port will be what all the chemo drugs are administered through.  The first 3 chemo treatments will be Tuesdays but then will move to every Thursday.

 

In addition to the “standard” chemo treatment for this type of cancer (clear cell epithelial ovarian, stage 4), I am eligible for, and have consented to, participating in a national clinical trial for a couple of other drugs that have shown positive results for ovarian, breast, and other cancers.  I am feeling very fortunate for this opportunity, and my doctor believes it will benefit me personally and of course will contribute to ongoing research and progress in cancer treatment in general.  Along with the possible benefit of the additional drugs, being in this trial will mean that I will be watched by even more experts, even more closely, and for a longer period than if I were not participating.  So, this is good. 

 

Each week, I will also be going to Barnes St Peters (or another nearby location) for blood to be drawn, usually the day before chemo day.  This is because if any of my blood counts are too low, chemo will have to be skipped that week; a lot is being monitored of course in all of this.

 

After the exam and all the discussions with the doctor, the trial coordinators, and the nurse schedulers yesterday, I was sent downstairs for a CT scan with contrast, an EKG, and to give blood and urine samples. All these will be used as a baseline at the outset of chemo. 

 

We are looking at a long and bumpy road, but I am absolutely hopeful and positive about it all.  I know that I am in the best hands that the area has to offer!  Barnes Siteman is among the top 10 cancer treatment facilities in the country, so……not too shabby, right?!   🙂

 

I miss all of you very much and look forward to being back there just as soon as I am cleared to do so!!  I cannot express how grateful I am for all the warm thoughts, the prayers, and the wonderful support all of you are providing to me and to my family members.  I am forever grateful.  You guys are the best!!!

 

Pass numerous hugs all around from me, please, and know that all of you are in my thoughts each day. 

 

Warmly,

g